dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
