please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
PANTIES FOUND
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