no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
