OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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