worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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