spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The power of my boobs compel you
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You are a genius and a whore.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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