maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
