it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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