sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
