So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
