You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
