So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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