just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Houston, we have a squirter
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
