So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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