last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
