... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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