Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Are we still banned from the library?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
