I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
