So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
