Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
