Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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