Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
