So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
