I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
