I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
