Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
