Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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