Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
