its not stalking. its research.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
