i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I feel like a drive thru vagina
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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