honey bunches of taint.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
