we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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