At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
