People in love make me want to vomit
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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