another moral hangover. fuck.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
