Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
His nipple licking is glorious
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