why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
