everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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