How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
