my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
