WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
