I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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