i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
