Only a mothe r could love this liver
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
