In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
