Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Semen is not good for contacts.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
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