I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
