WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
