Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My feet surprised me
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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