Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
