Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My vagina just recognized that song.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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