Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
