Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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