Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
