So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
