The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
