I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
