i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
